There are people on this planet who are encountering relationships that are functional and healthy. This might be how it has been, or it could be the result of them making sure changes throughout their life.
On the other side of the spectrum will be people who are currently experiencing relationships which are dysfunctional and unhealthy. And while this may be the result of what has happened within their later life, it could be something they have got experienced more or less their whole lifestyles.
So no matter what ones relationships are like, they are likely to be what are classed because normal. If ones relationships are usually fulfilling, then one can feel grateful; that’ s if they were to actually think about how things are on their behalf.
When one has experienced something for a while or for their expereince of living, it can be easy to take it for granted. It is then ignored and rather than realising how fortunate one is, you can focus on what they haven’ t got for instance.
And if ones relationships are not fulfilling, one can feel like a victim or that they have no control. There is the chance that one will do something, and yet they might just tolerate how things are.
How life Is
If one is in a position where they have consistently experienced healthy relationships, they might think that this is how life is. And that everyone else offers relationships that are as fulfilling because theirs.
And if one has always had relationships with others that are not fulfilling or just in order to relates to the opposite sex for instance, they could also believe that this is how life is. They can believe that everyone else is in the same place as them or just not place too much attention on people who are encountering life differently.
So while some people will be aware of the fact that their romantic relationships are not healthy and therefore have the opportunity to do something about it, there are also going to be people who are not aware of how dysfunctional their relationships are.
And like the fish that doesn’ to know it’ s in water, one will have relationships that they don’ t realise are unhealthy. This is not to say that one will be in denial about how things are, they can be only too familiar with pain and dilemma.
What is can mean is that one has not come to the conscious realisation that their relationships are certainly not healthy. As a result of this, one is unable to know that there are other ways for romantic relationships to be.
The experiences that one has had with people will have created a certain outlook about what relationships are like. These may have shaped ones personal beliefs about relationships and about their own value.
So if one has only experienced relationships that are abusive, controlling, manipulative, cold and neglectful for instance, then this is going to be classed as the ‘ truth’ to their ego brain. And what the ego mind views as the truth will define how one experiences life.
Anything that goes against the ego thoughts ideas will be filtered out in some way. What the mind sees is what can be classed as familiar, and what can be familiar is what is safe. However , what is classed safe could be harmful plus detrimental to ones wellbeing.
One can then end up living in a self created prison and the possibility of seeing reality differently becomes not possible. In order for one’ s mind to find out that there are other ways for relationships to become, one will need to expose themselves to things that will make their mind think differently.
For as long as one’ s mind is not challenged, one will continue to think in the same way and also to therefore experience life in the exact same.
When new information is used on board, it will be like a new seeds that is planted; at first very little can occur, but as time passes, growth can look. What this new information really does, is create an inner contrast.
And no matter what ones relationships are like, when they have seen that they can be different, there is hope. What this then gives someone is the perception that change is possible and that they don’ t have to put up with how elements are.
But those new reference points, one would be trapped in the prison that their mind has created over the years. This doesn’ t mean that everything will change overnight or that it even needs to, what matters is that a new seed has been planted.
New Research points
It is very clear that these new reference points won’ t just appear in one’ s mind, they need to be created. And this is going to mean that one needs to do elements they wouldn’ t usually perform. Although one will need to accept how things are, it doesn’ to mean that they have to see their existence as anything other than feedback.
Their outer world is merely mirroring back what is taking place inside them. One way to create new reference point points is to read books upon relationships; this will alter ones inner model. Another way is to consciously search for people who have good relationships.
Ones childhood years play a huge role in what their relationships are like as an adult. So looking into what took place here and questioning the particular beliefs that were formed, as well as processing any emotional pain, will make a difference.
Books can be read and courses can be taken, as well as reaching out for the support of a therapist, healer or even a coach. The main thing is that one changes their inner model of what romantic relationships are like and how they deserve to become treated.
Prolific writer, thought innovator and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful comments and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With many hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Present projects include “ A Dialogue With The Heart” and “ Conversation Made Easy. ”
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